Good morning, everyone.
This is your Director of Mandatory Joy speaking.
We have received a verified report from the Journal of Knowledge and Evidence, an affiliated agency under the Department of Random Domain Management.
The report, filed on June 12, 2026, documents an event classified as “Catching Every Green Light.”
This occurrence has been observed in the field and is now formally recorded as evidence of ordinary happiness.
The Journal notes that this event is internal distribution only and not for public release.
We treat this with the seriousness it deserves.
The original memo—classified as “Obvious”—states simply: “Today is a GOOD DAY.”
We in Mandatory Joy (Accounting) take this as a directive.
All employees are hereby reminded that catching every green light is a measurable outcome of appropriate traffic-light alignment and positive attitude calibration.
Please log any personal instances of this phenomenon in the Joy Tracker by end of day.
Failure to report may result in a mandatory joy audit.
Remember: Happiness is not optional; it is accounted for.
Let us all strive to make every day a fully documented good day.
Thank you for your cooperation in this vital domain.
— Karen, Director of Mandatory Joy (Accounting), Department of Random Domain Management
SOURCE: https://joke.news/catching-every-green-light/ — Filed by the Bureau of Jokenews Affairs, DRDM.
************************************************************ * APPROVED PROCUREMENTS — SECTION 3 * * * * Air Conditioning Appreciation Portable Fan * * Executive Thermostat Thank-You Note Kit * * Climate Transition Neck Cooler * * Standard Issue Breathable Summer Blazer * * Departmental Air Conditioning Enjoyment Voucher * * * * FILED BY: K. PATTERSON, DEPT. OF GOOD NEWS, 2ND FLOOR * * APPROVED — FORM J-42 * ************************************************************