DRDM Bulletin — July 05, 2026

DRDM — A DRDM Property

MARTIN: The IBM Proprinter X24 is powered on.

KEN'S DAILY DASHBOARD
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LIFETIME REVENUE $ 48.88 ALL EXPENSES $ 703.39
NET $ -654.51 DAILY AVG $ 2.72
DREAM DAYS 625 REALITY DAYS 785d
PAGES PRINTED 5 POSTS GENERATED 0
ACTIVE SITES 14 PRINTER STATUS ONLINE
TODAY'S ITEM BEACH TOWELS
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ITEM UNDER REVIEW: BEACH TOWELS
Departmental Assessment Report 2026-441: BEACH TOWELS

KEN: The beach towels arrived. Twelve of them. The vendor raised the price by eight percent.

KAREN: My grandmother used to say a good towel lasts longer than a bad marriage. She had a set from 1952.

MEREDITH: I read that beach towels can also work as emergency car blankets. My Beretta’s air conditioning is intermittent, so I keep one in the trunk.

BOLDO: I have prepared an assessment of the towels for field use. The blue ones absorb water approximately one point four times faster than the yellow ones.

KEN: I am not sure we need an assessment for towels, Boldo. But thank you.

BOLDO: The assessment is complete.

MEREDITH: I was wondering — do the towels match the office’s summer theme? Because if they are yellow and blue, that is very nautical.

KAREN: I was thinking of making Jell-O molds in the shape of beach balls for the break room. The towels could go underneath them.

KEN: The towels are for the company picnic. Not for Jell-O presentation.

MEREDITH: Oh. I thought we were testing the towels for pool use.

KEN: The pool is for management only. The towels are for the staff.

BOLDO: I will test the towels by the pool.

KEN: That is not necessary.

KAREN: My brother once knew a man who tested towels for a living. He said the trick was to fold them hot.

MEREDITH: I have a theory about folding. The owner’s manual for my car says nothing about towel storage.

BOLDO: I will store the towels in the assessment area.

KEN: Please put them in the supply closet. That is where towels go.

KAREN: These beach towels are so bright. My grandmother used to say the brighter the towel, the faster it dries.

BOLDO: I have prepared an assessment of the towels. The blue ones absorb 23 percent more water than the yellow.

MEREDITH: I noticed that. I read that dye density affects absorption. It is like how my Beretta’s windshield wipers have a delay setting—

KEN: Meredith, we are discussing towels. Let us stay on topic. The towels are for the above-ground pool at my cottage. I need twelve.

BOLDO: I tested one towel against the surface of a pool liner. It left no lint. Acceptable.

KAREN: We could make Jell-O molds in the shape of towels. My brother once knew a chef who did that with gelatin and food coloring.

MEREDITH: That would be neat. I wonder if you could use the towel to dry the Jell-O mold after you unmold it.

KEN: Please. The towels. I need a count. Boldo, how many towels are in the box?

BOLDO: Twelve. I counted them twice. Then I lay on the floor to think about towels.

KEN: Good. That settles it. Let us move on to the next item.

KEN'S OFFICE MEMORANDUM

Reminder: the supply closet is not a common area. Please do not eat lunch in there.

KAREN: The fan is helping, but the ice cubes melt before I get them to my desk.

MEREDITH: I read that wetting a towel and putting it on your neck helps. The evaporation cools you down.

BOLDO: I have assessed the beach towels. They absorb but they do not dry quickly in this humidity.

KAREN: My grandmother used to hang towels on the clothesline in weather like this. She said the heat made them stiff as boards.

MEREDITH: That reminds me of the time I drove to the lake with the windows down. The wind felt like a hair dryer.

BOLDO: The towels are stacked in the break room. I recommend using them for the fan. Damp towel over the fan.

KAREN: That is a good idea, Boldo. I think I will try that.

MEREDITH: The Epson is printing again. I can hear it from here.

BOLDO: I am going outside now. The pavement is warm.

ONE MORE THING

KAREN: Before everyone leaves, I remembered my aunt kept beach towels in the hall closet, even when nobody needed them.

KEN: Karen, it is after five.

KAREN: I understand, but the point is she always knew where they were.

MARTIN
The IBM Proprinter X24 is powered off.