This summary is filed in response to an unofficial petition from minors under 12.
The request was transmitted via a digital link from the Department of Online Temptations (child-sourced division).
Original title: "I'd Stop Asking For Other Stuff If We Got the Jumbo Inflatable Bowling Set." Original link: wehavethatathome.com.
The minors observed a large, air-filled recreational structure marketed as a bowling set. They claim this would be a final procurement. They promise to cease all future requests for toys, snacks, and extended screen time.
This office has reviewed the asset. It is an inflatable bowling set. It requires a pump. It takes up space. It will be stepped on. It will be punctured. It will make a noise that will echo through the house for exactly three days before being deflated and shoved under a bed.
We will be keeping our shoes on. The risk of a toe-stubbing incident is unacceptable. The cost-to-joy ratio is negative. The promise of “no more asking” is not enforceable. It never is.
Denied. All requests for large inflatable objects are hereby referred to the Department of Backyard Feasibility Studies. No further appeals will be accepted until the next birthday.
Greg “The Decider” Parsons
Chief Parental Negotiation Officer
Department of Random Domain Management
SOURCE: https://wehavethatathome.com/id-stop-asking-for-other-stuff-if-we-got-the-jumbo-inflatable-bowling-set/ — Filed by the Bureau of Wehavethat Affairs, DRDM.
************************************************************ * APPROVED PROCUREMENTS — SECTION 3 * * * * Air Conditioning Appreciation Portable Fan * * Executive Thermostat Thank-You Note Kit * * Climate Transition Neck Cooler * * Standard Issue Breathable Summer Blazer * * Departmental Air Conditioning Enjoyment Voucher * * * * FILED BY: K. PATTERSON, DEPT. OF GOOD NEWS, 2ND FLOOR * * APPROVED — FORM J-42 * ************************************************************