Department of Random Domain Management
Personal Narrative Addendum
Case File: 4821-j
This addendum pertains to a report filed by the Bureau of Household Logistics, reference number 3264-v. Original source: JimWrites.com, titled "The Bissell Little Green Saw Things." The observations contained herein are consistent with departmental standards for mundane domestic documentation.
The Bissell Little Green ProHeat Portable Carpet Cleaner arrived in a box that was too big for what it was. That is the first fact of record. The discrepancy between container and contents was noted immediately upon opening in the garage.
BW stated the unit was for the dog. This attribution is noteworthy because the dog has never actually created a mess on the carpet. The dog is adjacent to everything. Adjacency is its primary mode of existence. It lies near spills. It watches crumbs fall. It does not contribute to carpet degradation.
The carpet cleaner therefore occupies a space of preventative readiness. It is a solution in search of a problem. The box now sits folded in the recycling bin. The machine itself lives under the sink. It has not been used. It may never be used.
This addendum confirms that the object exists in a state of potential energy. Its green plastic body waits. Its hose coils in expectation. BW's declaration of purpose has historical and emotional weight but lacks empirical evidence. The dog remains clean. The carpet remains unstained.
Signed,
Jim Two
Junior Narrative Degradation Officer
SOURCE: https://jimwrites.com/the-bissell-little-green-saw-things/ — Filed by the Bureau of Jimwrites Affairs, DRDM.
************************************************************ * APPROVED PROCUREMENTS — SECTION 3 * * * * Air Conditioning Appreciation Portable Fan * * Executive Thermostat Thank-You Note Kit * * Climate Transition Neck Cooler * * Standard Issue Breathable Summer Blazer * * Departmental Air Conditioning Enjoyment Voucher * * * * FILED BY: K. PATTERSON, DEPT. OF GOOD NEWS, 2ND FLOOR * * APPROVED — FORM J-42 * ************************************************************