Personal Narrative Addendum, File No. 787-b.
Source material received from an affiliated agency (original: jimwrites.com, “The Bissell Little Green Saw Things”).
The Bissell Little Green ProHeat Portable Carpet Cleaner arrived in a box that was too large for its contents.
This was observed during unboxing in the garage.
BW stated the unit was for the dog.
The dog is adjacent to everything but has never actually produced a mess on the carpet.
The device itself is small and green and sits on a shelf now.
It has the appearance of a specialized instrument designed to address a problem that does not yet exist.
This is a common pattern in domestic procurement: preparation for hypothetical events.
The box remains in the garage, deflated and occupying a different kind of space.
One suspects the dog has no awareness of the machine or its intended purpose.
Nevertheless, the machine holds a charge and waits.
It is a monument to preparedness, a green plastic promise that sits between the leaf blower and the spare rolls of duct tape.
The garage is a room where objects go to be adjacent to possibility.
The Bissell is no exception.
Signed,
Jim Two, Junior Narrative Degradation Officer
SOURCE: https://jimwrites.com/the-bissell-little-green-saw-things/ — Filed by the Bureau of Jimwrites Affairs, DRDM.
************************************************************ * APPROVED PROCUREMENTS — SECTION 3 * * * * Air Conditioning Appreciation Portable Fan * * Executive Thermostat Thank-You Note Kit * * Climate Transition Neck Cooler * * Standard Issue Breathable Summer Blazer * * Departmental Air Conditioning Enjoyment Voucher * * * * FILED BY: K. PATTERSON, DEPT. OF GOOD NEWS, 2ND FLOOR * * APPROVED — FORM J-42 * ************************************************************