To: All persons considering culinary tourism in the Niagara Falls region.

From: Misty Dewhurst, Water Volume & Disappointment Analyst, Department of Random Domain Management.

Re: Authentic Spices and Southeast Asian Flavors – A Public Service Advisory.

This advisory has been prepared following a referral from the Falls Tourism and Gastronomy Interface Bureau (an affiliated agency). The referring source is TheFalls.net, document titled “Thai Restaurants in Niagara Falls: Authentic Spices & Southeast Asian Flavors.”

The referring agency reports that parties planning a trip to Niagara Falls may encounter establishments offering Thai cuisine.

Such establishments purport to provide “authentic spices” and “Southeast Asian flavors.”

We cannot verify the authenticity of these claims. Our department has not conducted taste tests. We have not interviewed any chefs. We have not measured humidity levels near woks.

However, we acknowledge that the original document exists. It claims to be a “complete guide.” This guide presumably lists restaurants. It presumably includes addresses. It may even mention pricing.

We have no further data. We do not know if the green curry is acceptable. We do not know if the pad thai is dry.

Travelers are reminded that Niagara Falls is primarily a geological feature involving large volumes of water. That water is cold and loud and does not taste like lemongrass. Adjust your expectations accordingly.

If you choose to pursue Thai food in this location, do so with patience. Accept that the mango sticky rice may have been prepared by someone who has never seen a mango tree.

This advisory is issued without enthusiasm and with resigned hope that you find something edible.

Signed,
Misty Dewhurst
Water Volume & Disappointment Analyst
Department of Random Domain Management

SOURCE: https://thefalls.net/thai-restaurants-in-niagara-falls-authentic-spices-southeast-asian-flavors/ — Filed by the Bureau of Thefalls Affairs, DRDM.

************************************************************
* APPROVED PROCUREMENTS — SECTION 3                      *
*                                                          *
* Air Conditioning Appreciation Portable Fan               *
* Executive Thermostat Thank-You Note Kit                  *
* Climate Transition Neck Cooler                           *
* Standard Issue Breathable Summer Blazer                  *
* Departmental Air Conditioning Enjoyment Voucher          *
*                                                          *
* FILED BY: K. PATTERSON, DEPT. OF GOOD NEWS, 2ND FLOOR   *
* APPROVED — FORM J-42                                     *
************************************************************