APPROVED PROCUREMENTS — K. PATTERSON



TO: Everyone. Always
RE: MEMO NO. 20260617-000825
FROM: Ken Murchison, Managing Director
CC: ALL DEPARTMENTS!
CLASSIFIED: OBVIOUS

Good morning, everyone. This is your Director of Mandatory Joy speaking.

Today we are pleased to announce the official ratification of the Ice Cream Truck Jingle as a Class-A Approved Sound Emission.

This decision was reached after careful review of the original documentation filed by the Journal of Knowledge and Evidence (joke.news) under our Department of Random Domain Management.

The referenced material, Internal Distribution Only Volume 1 Number 167, confirms that the jingle in question is indeed a catalog of ordinary happiness.

We have verified that no unauthorized melodic variations have been introduced. Compliance is absolute.

This is a testament to our interdepartmental commitment to predictable delight.

All field operatives are reminded that the jingle must be played at exactly 85 decibels. No louder. No softer. Joy is a precise metric.

The originating agency has classified this information as Obvious. We concur.

Any deviation from the prescribed auditory experience will be met with mandatory retraining in the Department of Unified Smiling.

We thank everyone for their continued vigilance in upholding the standardized happiness protocol.

Remember: today is a good day. Every day is a good day. Non-negotiable.

Signed, Karen. Director of Mandatory Joy (Accounting). Department of Random Domain Management.

SOURCE: https://joke.news/the-ice-cream-trucks-jingle/ — Filed by the Bureau of Jokenews Affairs, DRDM.