The Department of Random Domain Management, Office of Scenic Disappointment, has received a submission from the Falls.net affiliate agency.

The document in question is titled: Niagara Gorge Exploration: Trails, Views & Hidden Gems.

After thorough review and field validation, we issue this Public Service Advisory for prospective visitors.

The Niagara Gorge does indeed contain a network of trails.

These trails are steep, uneven, and subject to seasonal closures due to ice, mud, or general indifference.

Visitors should expect to exert physical effort. This is not a recommendation, only a statement of fact.

The views referenced in the original material are of the Niagara River cutting through limestone bedrock.

You will see water moving downhill. This occurs every day.

Tourists frequently express surprise that the gorge is, in fact, a gorge, and that it contains rocks.

Hidden gems, as described, are typically small geological features such as potholes or fossils.

These are not actual gems. They will not appreciate in value.

Your child will not find a diamond.

We strongly advise against attempting to access any area marked by warning signs or locked gates.

Rescue operations in the gorge are time-consuming and costly. They are also very wet.

The original guide mentions the Whirlpool Rapids. These are indeed present and dangerous.

Please do not attempt to swim across them for social media content.

We have reviewed the water volume for the upcoming tourist season and can confirm it will be sufficient to generate mist.

This mist will get on your camera lens.

The official recommendation is to remain on designated observation platforms and paved walkways.

If you choose to ignore this advice, please at least wear sturdy footwear and carry water.

No, that water is not from the falls. It is from a tap.

Signed, Misty Dewhurst, Water Volume & Disappointment Analyst, Department of Random Domain Management.

SOURCE: https://thefalls.net/niagara-gorge-exploration-trails-views-hidden-gems/ — Filed by the Bureau of Thefalls Affairs, DRDM.