This Household Procurement Summary originates from a submission by the Agency for Gift Procurement, referencing the document titled “10 Stocking Stuffers for Dads Who Say They Don’t Need Anything” (source URL filed with original memorandum).

The agency has reviewed ten potential line items for inclusion in a standard holiday stocking.

All items are specifically marketed toward fathers who claim they do not require any additional possessions.

The procurement list spans two broad categories: small electronic gadgets and edible snacks.

Each proposed item has been field-tested by a dad who actually used the product. Each item also received a verbal approval from a child, defined as any minor under the age of twelve.

These dual endorsements serve as the only quality-control checkpoint. No further lab testing was conducted.

The honest dad reviews are described as “honest” meaning the dad did not pretend to like something he will never touch again.

The kid’s approval is critical because without it the dad will never be allowed to open the stocking in peace.

Common examples of items that survive this vetting process include multi-tools, phone stands, beef jerky, and rechargeable keychain flashlights.

I have seen these lists before. Some items are actually useful. Others become drawer clutter by February.

But if a child says yes, and the dad grunts in approval, then the procurement may proceed.

No further action is required from this office. Recommend approval of the summary as filed.

Greg “The Decider” Parsons
Chief Parental Negotiation Officer
Department of Random Domain Management

SOURCE: https://wehavethatathome.com/10-stocking-stuffers-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-need-anything/ — Filed by the Bureau of Wehavethat Affairs, DRDM.